HOLD YOUR FIRE (Layman Theoretical Physics and Metaphysics)

                Me and everything around me

                Is unstable, like Chenorbyl

                Ready to blow any moment bouncing like a pogo-

                Stick!

These are the first lines of “Babylon”, a song I love by Outkast.

A song I relate to too much.

Nuclear bombs and nuclear power and such are all about splitting atoms (fission) or fusing them together (fusion).

E equals M C squared.

The energy locked up in anything material can be correctly predicted by multiplying the mass of said matter (a variable dependent on the subject) with the speed of light (a universal constant).

We have split atoms and, I suppose but don’t really know for sure, fused them. In the process, we have somehow managed to make bad ass bombs and electricity. Crude energy.

We have achieved that by playing with radioactive elements. What’s the difference between elements and hamsters and stem cells, by the way? Anyway…

Radioactive atoms are not hard to split, fuse or in any other possible way mess with. Akina uranium and so on. I read this stuff here and there, especially online, particularly on Wikipedia and Wired.

Most elements are stable. But if, somehow, they could be made unstable, the could be split, fused or otherwise manipulated to the realization of great amounts of energy.

How much energy does it take for a pebble to be a pebble? For me to hold myself together?

Composed, collected, grains rub together. Heavenly bodies. Particles containing eternity.

How much energy does it take to contain a spirit? What about to fuse two into one?

My atomic body contains the fire of my soul. What is this divine energy that holds me together? The greatness that defines me?

Rot. Or in other words, decay.

When elements die naturally, they leak their fire out slowly. Decomposition.

When they are forced apart or together, the explode. Violently.

If our time was much slower, much much slower, bombs would be stars, like suns. Creations. Accelerated, sped up beyond us, destruction.

Grace. A slower pace. Strength. To get a grip.

To be here,

Now.

A particle in my element.

Eternal, etc.

Egg, Chapati, Islam and Intelligent Design.

I wonder who decides what channel plays on the little tv at the hostel cafe where I usually have my breakfast (a fried egg folded in a chapati and washed down with tea). The old, faded 14 inch box is kept in a cage high at a corner just below the ceiling. I have sat through many minutes of Chinese news, cartoons on mute, a Chinese seafood documentary, silent music and so on, and today I had my chapati and egg to The Islam Channel.

The Islam Channel was showing a nature documentary. All the usual nice pictures. Humming birds, dolphins, baby elephants, surfers riding epic waves. And then the voice-over poses the question: could all these/this have come into existence by accident? Cue picture of bearded old Darwin. No, answers the voice. After which comes a simple example to further illustrate the point.

We are on a splendid sandy seashore. Waves rise and rush towards the beach, crash and withdraw back into the sea, leaving pebbles and things. A bit further up, there is a pretty intricate sandcastle, complete with water-filled moat. The voice aks us if the crashing waves could have, somehow, contrived to form this complex, purposeful creation in the course of their chaotic, purposeless motions. Of course not! This is obviously the work of an intelligent mind.

A few examples of other complex, even more purposeful creations follow. The human eye, elephants' feet, the lives of bees, frigate birds peacocks parrots proud of their colours, and so on. These must be the works of an intelligent being. Evolution is simply wrong and untrue.

My own observations, layman and uninformed as they may be, lead me to a sightly different conclusion. First, back to the sandcastle. It was not anything complex, in my opinion. For the creation of truly complex, purposeful works, nothing beats nature's chaotic, seeminlgy undirected motions. Random wind and water movements result in the most amazing land formations. Natural selection results in intricate ecological systems comprising diverse organisms all connected in complex relationships. You could call them well thought out, only that they are better than that. Form and function play out in brilliant and inovative designs, in physics, in biology, chemistry, mathematics, music, everywhere in nature. And then you realize that these so-called random motions (my own term) of nature are not so random. They follow elegant natural laws, the code is simply, beautifully tight. And it works, always, regardless.

An intelligent mind will make a sand castle, cars, computers, simple things. Nature in its chaos makes far more impressive stuff!

Today's egg was larger than Tuesday's, and I over-sugared the tea. I should be getting back to the office and write this down.

I believe in evolution. It is brilliant. Nature's infinite, self-made wonders never cease to amaze. Indeed, they are never still, nature is in constant flux. In my opinion, it is not about a cosmic giant grandfather in outer space playing with plascticine making giraffes. Creation was not a one-off event.

I believe in God. Not a great intelligent being. God above, beyond and out of all. As for his* nature, I always hope to learn more and refuse to define him within my limited thinking. Back to creation, I find that it is designed in such a way that it just keeps rolling on and outwards, unfolding in a never-ending, ever-changing dance of energy and life and time. Creation so profound and rich, and it creates more. Darwin was right. But God is so much more than that that Darwin's revelation (yes, that's what it was) fits right in, and yet is such a teeny weeny itsy bitsy part of everything. Creationists are right, in the same way.

But both camps are wrong in that they box God within their own limited worldviews. Grids, if you are Discordian. (Hail Eris!). These arguments between science and religion, "faith" and "reason" are simple-minded attempts to control life, the universe, and everything else. Yet they are necessary and must necessarily argue each other out as the human being grows more in understanding. The day will come when they will realize how little they know, and how much they accidentally helped each other find more. Awe.

I finished my breakfast and got back to the office where I am currently freelancing, went straight to the computer and here I am. It is 11:07 am. Shit, I have just missed 11am 11/11/11! Must not miss 11:11 11 11 11! So I have to finish this and get some work done.

God. Man. Creation. Everything. Is. Awesome.

One more thing. Nature actually made the sandcastle. And everything man-made. Why? Because man is nature-made. You could argue it like that anyway.

Here comes 11:11am...

*We say God is he/she because we are limited like that. It's not important.

The Convalescent

It hurt. Bad. A pulsating pain that started dull then sharp and searing and then dull again. And that made him feel better, because absence of pain would have meant he had began to die. He started to turn around very slowly, loosening the coils, careful not to rub the wound too hard. The pus had dried, resulting in a build-up of fluid underneath the damaged scales, making it look like he had another head near the end of his tail. A tender, ugly, oozing head with a concentrated hell inside. The escape! The rock had only struck his tail. That had been four days ago. Now he lay in cool, safe darkness under a small boulder in a tangle of dense bush. Coiled, still, invisible, healing.